Ninja 3: The Domination (1984)

This chunk of 80's cheese has recently been given a Blu-Ray release, so I thought it was time to catch up on this Golan Globus masterpiece.

Ninja 3: The Domination doesn't disappoint. Starting with its famous Ninja versus golf-course scene, we learn that for a ninja (Sho Kosugi), stealth isn't that important when you can kill indiscriminately with throwing stars, and are impervious to bullets. After outrunning a police car, taking out a helicopter, two motorbikes, and countless cops, he is eventually cornered, and shot more times that Peter Weller in Robocop. Although this does slow him down a bit, he still manages to escapes.

Lucinda Dickey (Breakin', and everyone's favourite sequel title, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo) stars as Christie, a telecoms repairer by day, Gym instructor by night. When she spots our injured ninja rolling about in the wilderness, she naturally goes to help, only to be attacked by him. She escapes, but instead of calling the police, or getting on with her Glen Campbell day-job, she goes back one more time. After mumbling Japanese and brandishes his sword at her, she start seeing the Ninja's memories.  Its about this time our ninja friend finally croaks, and now Christie seems to occasionally become possessed, and is able to command his ninja skills.
Every night when she is alone in her ultra eighties pad, the room fills with smoke and the lights short out. Arcade machines come to life, and the samurai sword which she kept as a souvenir floats about. In these weird Exorcist/Poltergeist moments, Christie feels the need to go on a cop killing spree for vengeance.

There are plenty of WTF moments in this, and its impossible to write about this movie without mentioning the sleazy gender politics. Jordan Bennett plays Officer Billy, a man who doesn't take no for an answer and even more creepily, uses his police powers to harass Christie into dating him. In fact, I have a alternative reading of this movie that Christie is a feminist vigilante, who uses the ninja skills to take out the sleaze-bags who make up the police department. There's a jaw-dropping scene where one of the girls in Christie's gym class is attacked and harassed by a bunch of scum-bags. Christie is the only one who steps in to help her, even though there are plenty of people around, including Officer Billy. When the gang pick on her instead, Christie's newly found ninja skills kick in and she wipes the floor with them. But at no point does Officer Billy help out. In fact its at this point he arrests her! No wonder Christie's alter-ego is pissed.

Ninja Facts:

Don't worry if you haven't watched the first two movies, they apparently have nothing in common with this film, apart from them starring Sho Kosugi who also choreographed the fight scenes.

V8 juice is not sexy, even on Lucinda Dickey.

"Only a ninja, can destroy a ninja"

The Uninvited (1988): The Terrible films of Greydon Clark Part 1

A mutant cat. A gangster's yacht. George Kennedy. Sit back and enjoy The Uninvited!

Day of Resurrection (1980) AKA Fukkatsu no hi

What if a deadly air-borne virus killed off the population of earth? What if that wasn't the worst part?

Day of Resurrection was the most expensive Japanese film made at the time,  and was the manga publisher Kadokawa Shoten's attempt to break into the international film market. I expect that Hollywood wasn't too keen on a foreign studios muscling in on their patch, and the film failed to get a US general release. A shortened version (108mins) renamed Virus was shown in the States, but it seem to have now been forgotten, and the film has ended up in public domain.

Its got a great cast including Glenn Ford, Sonny Chiba, Robert Vaughn, George Kennedy, Oliva Hussey, Bo Svenson, & Henry Silva. It shares many similarities to the Late 70's disaster epics like Earthquake and Airport. Some of the actors probably stepped off the set of one disaster to this one. It even has its own love theme! (Why did they always have love themes in disaster films?)

The 1st part of the film reminded me of the Novel World War Z, without the zombies. Lots of short vignettes around the globe of how the virus is effecting humanity. Emotional scenes in a Japan hospital, A sweating POTUS in the White House, and confused scientists at an Arctic base. News reports of humanity breaking down. Riots and protests.

The 2nd part concentrates on the survivors who have congregated at the arctic base. Surprisingly, the film deals with the elephant in the room. Namely, of the group of 800 people, only eight are women. Yes, this movies go there. Obviously a movie about humanity being wiped out is grim, but its the bland council-meeting discussions of how to repopulate that are move unpleasant than any amount of scattered skeletons.

The last part (Spoilers) takes a sharp turn when the geologist of the group thinks that recent drilling may cause another disaster. Due to a convoluted chain of events, a earthquake in Washington DC will set off the Nuclear missiles aimed at Russia. Which similarly will set off the missiles aimed at the USA including the Alaskian base that the last of humanity is holed up in.

You have to like a film which is not content with wiping out humanity with a man-made virus, but wants to finish the job with a thermo-nuclear war!

There is a strange Alejandro Jodorowsky vibe to the ending that gives a slight amount of optimism which I think is completely missing from the shortened Virus version.

The film really boils down to a message of the folly of nuclear war. A message, that the Japanese would obviously have strong feeling about. 1980 was a dangerous time in the cold war. USA/Russian relationships were frosty. Mutually Assured Distruction was still the only real nuclear deterrent.

Sidenotes:

Henry Silva has played plenty of great villains, but here he is responsible for wiping out humanity twice! Good work!

The Appointment (1981)

 Edward Woodward stars in this slow-burning British horror movie, which feels closer in spirit to the 70′s anthology movies than the 80′s VHS era it was released to.

It might not be to some people taste, as the slight story is stretched butter-thin over 90 minutes. Indeed, contemporary reviewers dismissed it as boring, and the film had only a limited cinema release. This is a shame as it does contain some memorable moments, and sustains an unsettling vibe for most of the film.

After a powerful opening scare involving a girl in the woods, we flash forward to meet Woodward, a family man who breaks the news to his precocious daughter that he will be missing her school violin recital due to a work appointment. From this point on, bad omens, nightmares, and premonitions suggest he’d be better pulling a sickie, than driving to his ill fated appointment…

This is director Lindsay C. Vickers only full feature, which is unfortunate, as he shows a lot of panache in the set-scenes. The movie's feverish dream atmosphere builds to an enjoyable over-the-top ending.

The film is currently on YouTube split into 7 parts.

Death Wish 3 (1985)

Charles Bronson's acting reaches new heights of somnambulism in this demented flick by the late, great Michael Winner.

In the first two revenge flicks, Winner had killed off everyone remotely close to our anti-hero Paul Kersey. So in Death Wish 3, he takes the franchise to its next logical step. Bronson is now a guardian-angel drifter, who returns to New York to meet an old friend whose being terrorized by a local street gang. 

With the same bad luck as all his other acquaintances, Bronson's pal is beaten to death before he can say 'no dice', and is immediately framed for the murder. The chief of police, played by seasoned-pro Ed Lauter (Longest Yard), recognizes him as the vigilante from the first film, and lets him return on condition he takes out the street scum which is turning the neighbourhood to hell. 

the streets of this unnamed suburb looks more like a post-apocalyptic war zone than 80's NYC. This might be because it was actually shot in London!

The main slime-ball spends a lot of the movie eyeballing Bronson and vice-versa. So its a bit odd that Bronson doesn't target him first. Instead he seem to arbitrary take out car thieves and bag-snatchers, rather than the main perps who are murdering the neighbours one by one. They're quite easy to spot due to the ludicrous gang paint/hairstyle combo.

Some of the funniest bits occur in the tacked on romance with his young beautiful court appointed lawyer who,  for some reason, has a thing for mysterious monosyllabic elderly  murder suspects. She literally begs him for a date, which Bronson begrudgingly  accepts. The date has some hilarious bad dialogue and their relationship ends as badly as you'd expect.

As Bronson's rep grow within the community, the big bad leader calls up dial-a-gang, and a biker group ride into town to spice things up. The movie conclude with a neighbourhood free for all, as everyone grabs a gun and all hell breaks loose.

Bronson barely raises a sweat or his pulse in this movie, which is probably only sensible as he was 64 at the time. The only emotion he portrays is a sad stoicism, and it's not too surprising that this is his last collaboration with Winner. Even though the stupidness makes this film a lot easier to take than the first two, it still contain some ugly scenes.

Things to look out for:

Alex Winters (of Bill and Ted fame) plays a street punk

Marina Sirtis (Dana Troy from Star Trek Next Generation) plays a small role

Street Thug: " They killed the Giggler!"

Kathryn: " I hope you like chicken, it's the only thing I know how to make."

Kersey: " Chickens good. I like chicken"

 Fraker: "Truth is, I hate creeps too. But there's nothing I can do about them. I'm a cop."

This Movie is presently available on YouTube